Bunny's Trick & Catwoman's Treat
by Babatomyfriends
Summary: So I felt like writing some serious smut again, just for the fun of it (oxymoron not intended). Actually I had a request for this story once, over a year ago already, but better late than never, right? At least I didn't let you wait until next Halloween for this fluffy and I'm afraid rather sweaty Mondler one shot. Enjoy! And let me know if you do.
"I'm gonna kill myself!"

Chandler wanted nothing better than to kick something – the table, the chair, or best of all, his brother-in-law's ass for getting him into this, but it was no use – he needed to preserve every last ounce of his strength (what strength? Haha) and besides, the bunny costume would render any kicking attempt completely futile and moreover make him look quite ridiculous. Even more ridiculous than he already was.

How could he have let that happen? After all this time he of all people should have known that you never never never must challenge Monica to any competition of strength and stamina. Not if you valued your health, your peace of mind, your dignity or even your life. And of course your love-life. And yet how often had he fallen into that trap? All it took was that blank disbelieving look on her face, and yes, Ross' infuriating triumphant smirk (how could she not see through that?) and he had lost it. Again. Now all he could do was try and hold out against that steel like pressure from her wrist as long as he could with what increasingly felt like a rubber stick instead of his forearm. A very painful rubber stick at that, in very acute danger of getting bent, twisted and tied in a knot. And she would only stop there if he was very lucky and she let the others subdue … well, calm her down again. But with her in that gorgeous costume that had her itching for a chance to show off the superhuman powers of Catwoman all night he didn't see that happening anytime soon. At least not soon enough for him.

All he could hope for really was for the Catwoman to feel pity for the poor little big pink bunny, hopefully before any real damage was done. Finally that laughable costume gave him a real advantage. How ridiculous would he have appeared as Batman or James Bond getting beaten by a woman whose waist he could easily encircle with his hands? At least as the bunny he could always use his fur to cushion the blows. And mop up the sweat and other body fluids afterwards.

Though in all honesty he had never even wanted a hero costume like Batman or James Bond. It had just felt – wrong, even disregarding the fact that he would never be able to pull it off. Especially not with Monica in that mind-blowingly hot Catwoman suit. So a costume that was both laughable and pathetic had been his only option really. Especially since it allowed him to crack self-deprecating jokes to his heart's content. And made for such a wonderful contrast to Monica's costume. A contrast that simply couldn't fail to appeal to her once the party was over and he could show her a few more assets the costume provided. Like its immense cuddliness. The feel of that long soft hair on naked skin. The fact that someone that slim and petite could bury herself in its depths, be enveloped in it like in a big warm cloud in which she could lose herself when he embraced her and held her close while he surreptitiously pulled down that zipper on her back as far as it would go …

Fat chance of that happening now. He could count himself lucky if he escaped from this with his fur intact. Judging from the mad shine in her eyes she was out for blood.

"Oooh, who's scared now?" she cooed now. And Jesus, now the others were drifting back to the table. Right. Time to switch tactics.

"Ugh … I guess I am … now …"

"Oooh, really? Scared of your own wife?"

"My wife? No. Of the evil Catwoman? Uh-huh!"

That at least seemed to disconcert her a little. Just as well, since he was rapidly losing all feeling in his arm.

"But why would the poor little bunny be scared of the Catwoman? Are you afraid she'll eat you up?" Oh thank god, she was letting up a little – just enough so his poor rubber muscles got a bit of relief, but not enough to let him push her back.

"Like in rip out my throat, tear me apart and then mop up the floor with me? And all that before I get a chance to show my wife what bunnies are really good at? Uh-huh!"

"Why, what could that be?"

He smirked at her, flinching when she pressed down again hard. "Um … argh … Something I guess my wife would be more interested in than the Catwoman … aarghh ..!"

Monica suddenly looked thoughtful and he felt a smidgen of hope.

"Don't listen to him! Go Catwoman!" Phoebe yelled from behind of him. Monica's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Get him down!"

"Yeah! Destroy him! Walk all over him!" Now Ross joined in while Rachel and Joey watched from a safe distance, shaking their heads.

"But … I can't! He's my husband! I – I still need him."

"What for?" Ross scoffed. "You're Catwoman! What do you need a bunny for?"

"Just something that bunnies really really excel at …?" For a moment his brother-in-law looked genuinely puzzled, then he scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Ewww … But Catwoman wouldn't want that. Would she?"

Monica smiled at her brother sweetly. "This one might."

"Ugh, no!"

"Of course she would!" Phoebe interjected. "Yeah, go Catwoman! Do him first and eat him up later!"

"Phoebe! I can't eat him up."

"Why not?"

Monica smiled at him and then looked pointedly at her brother. "There's no fun in eating cute little bunnies. In fact I think I've just become a vegetarian."

Joey guffawed as Ross paled and took an uncertain step back, his stupid Spudnik costume wobbling. When Monica slowly rose from her chair, growling and getting ready to pounce at him over the table, he actually squeaked.

"Help! Chandler! Stop her!"

"How? I'm just a weak big pink bunny! You just beat me!" When Monica let go of his hand to climb on the table, he slumped back in his chair and rubbed his arm, silently appreciating the spectacular view of Monica's cleavage he now had. And the fact that quite obviously she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Yay! Catwoman's going for the potato! Mince him! Carve him up! Mash him!" Phoebe was actually jumping up and down by now, her ponytail bouncing wildly. Ross retreated another step and wound up colliding with Mona who caught him just in time before he keeled over.

"What's the matter, big Doody?" Monica purred. "Are you scared of the little vegetarian kitty?"

Ross looked around wildly. Joey and Rachel looked on, both grinning broadly now, while Mona started to look concerned. "I'm Spudnik! But, um … I think it's getting really late … and this costume's kinda heavy, so … erm, goodnight everyone! Great party! See ya!" And with that Ross beat a hasty retreat to the door, pulling Mona with him.

"Hey, you could at least leave us your costume!" Phoebe looked disgusted. "Just when I was really getting in the mood for hash browns!"

Joey suddenly got a dreamy expression on his face. "What's that place again where they have those giant baked potatoes …?"

"Oooh, I know which one you mean! Let's go!"

And then, just like that, they all crowded out of the apartment, leaving Chandler and Monica behind, the latter still crouching on the kitchen table, looking a little disappointed. Chandler thought he could almost see her tail twitching, and hurriedly got up to catch hold of her before she could get a good look at the mess in the living room and kitchen and decide to start cleaning. When she turned that cool blue gaze on him, he took her head into his big furry paws and leaned a little forward.

"Trick or Treat?!"

"Hey, that was supposed to be my line!" But she was smiling.

"Oohkaay … how about we both do that?"

Monica narrowed her eyes at him. "Trick or Treat! So what's your treat?"

"Oh nothing much … only one whole night worth of hot pink cuddly bunny loving?"

Her eyes widened. "Oooohhh! Really? And will you keep the costume on, the whole time?"

He hesitated, wincing just a little, but then rallied manfully. "Yes. You want it, you get it. One really big, really pink, really furry and really really hot bunny."

Monica grinned and grabbed his big bunny ears. "Oh my! How hot?"

"Steamy boiling smoking hot. And probably very sweaty too." He let his paws slide down to her shoulders. "So what's your treat?"

She leaned closer to him, half-closing her eyes when his paws reached her breasts. "My treat is … I'll postpone the cleaning."

His breath actually hitched. "Really? No cleaning? For how long?"

She smiled widely. "For as long as you can keep me – um, distracted."

"Wow." He pulled her closer to him and tried to lift her up. "Then let's go!"

"Not so fast!" She grabbed his long rabbit ears playfully. "I actually haven't decided yet where I want this." Now she wriggled under his hands, drawing him closer and snuggling up to his furry chest as their eyes met and locked.

"Where? You mean, not in the bedroom …?"

"Maybe. Or maybe not." She drew up her legs and hooked them around his middle. "So why don't you take me to some places to help me decide?"

He groaned. "You want me to take you on a tour? Through the apartment?"

"YES! Let's go, big bunny!" And with that she locked her ankles behind the small of his back and held on to his shoulders, while he scooped her up with his hands under her buttocks and lifted her away from the table, still groaning.

"Oh god. A tour. Right. Oh you'd better have a few carrots for me when we're done."

"Get going, big bunny!"

"Um … before we leave … what about right here, on the kitchen table?"

She turned her head to look back at the table and then shook her head.

"No? You might want to reconsider. A good, well proven and tested kitchen table, very solid and serviceable, suitable for many positions and furthermore being quite close and easily accessible … no?"

"Tempting, but I would really like to look at some other options first."

Chandler sighed deeply while he hefted her up and started to carry her around the apartment, turning to the left first in the direction of the door.

"Tough sell, huh? Alright … here's your next option. The counter. What can I say? That, um, we haven't done it there before, so it's actually new ground for us …?"

"Only because it's too high. You would have to stand on something."

"Right. So the counter is out. What's next? This easy chair here?" He stopped before the chair that stood in the corner between the guest room and the door and turned around so that Monica could look at it.

"No, that's my grandmother's. If we did it there I'd be thinking of her all the time."

"And wondering if she approved? Right. Um. Okay … next stop, the guestroom. Ah yes. That should be perfect. It has a door, so it offers privacy. And it has a bed too!" But Monica pulled on his ears, forcing him to change direction.

"No, not in there. I stripped the bed before the party, and there're too many things on it now … Sorry, but no." She pulled herself up a little to nibble at his lips playfully. "Can I see some more places, please? Or are you getting tired …?"

Actually he was, and rather hot too already, but when he felt her legs tightening on his waist and her upper body pressing closer and rubbing against his, he took a deep breath and made himself go on, stumbling only a little on his way across the living room towards the couch.

"Okay. Alright. Whew. So … this is the couch. A very nice place. Distinctive advantage of being well tested and furthermore very comfortable. A prime choice for a romp I would say."

Monica narrowed her eyes and put her head a little to the side. "Normally I would agree, but right now … ummm … there's that table, you know. What if you hit it and knock up all the things on it? Wait, are those sandwiches? They need to be covered up!"

"No, it's okay, they're already covered up … Alright, the couch's out, but if you don't mind I would like to use it for a short rest … ah, that's better." He let her down on the backrest of the couch and stretched his arms with a deep sigh. Monica frowned at him.

"Are you trying to tell me I'm too heavy?"

"No it's just me. All that arm wrestling's turned my arms to rubber."

She grinned and grabbed at his fur to pull him close again. "Aw. Just as long as it's only your arm muscles ..." When he wrapped his arms around her she pressed her face in his shoulder and stroked his back, almost enveloped in the pink fur. "Mmmh, that's so nice … mmmm …ooohh, you're so cuddly! Mmmh … ah … um, it feels like … are you actually – "

"What?" He grinned down at her.

"Um, going commando?!"

"Well, let me put it this way, I don't think I could have survived the party if I wasn't."

"What? But you hate –"

"Yeah, I know. Just kidding. I kept my underwear on."

She smiled sweetly up at him. "Oh. Pity. Because I didn't." When he gaped at her speechlessly she laughed out loud and snuggled even closer. Chandler tightened his hold and then abruptly heaved her up and threw her over his shoulder, keeping her in place with one arm wrapped around her legs and the other over her buttocks as he headed straight for the bedroom. Monica squirmed, squealing and then giggling, as she held on to his bunny tail.

"Um … stop! You didn't take me everywhere yet. What about the bathroom?"

"What about it? It's wet. I thought cats hated getting wet?"

"Are you scared you won't fit into the tub?" she inquired sweetly.

"Well, maybe with the costume … But I guess we'll have to go there afterwards anyway. And you'll probably have to hose me down."

"Alright. But … um ... The window seat?"

"Doesn't look solid enough. Besides, what if Ross sees us? Again? We might as well do it on the balcony - - oooohhh, the balcony!" He turned around so quickly that he nearly hit the table lamp on the desk with Monica's feet.

"The balcony? Now?"

"Aw. Come on! I've always wanted sex on the balcony! It'll be great!"

"Really? What about the weather report that said light to medium drizzles of rain and temperatures around 35 degrees …?"

He sighed deeply and turned around again. "Okay, I see your point. But it's only a raincheck!" When he headed for the bedroom once more, she didn't object and contented herself with pinching him in the ass while he fumbled at the door and then strode inside, kicking it shut behind him. Growling and panting he carried her to the bed and dumped her on it rather unceremoniously, then climbed on top and held her down while he kissed her. Monica squealed and wriggled under him until she got her legs free to hook them over his waist, then she held on to his bunny ears while he kissed his way down her jaw to her chin and throat and further down her neck where he could feel her pulse hammering under his lips. When he reached the sensitive place over her clavicle, she moaned softly and arched her back, giggling helplessly as he tried to push his large furry paws into her neckline and desperately fumbled at the tiny zipper to get at her breasts. At last it gave way, sliding down almost to her navel and Monica first gasped and then moaned and shuddered when he pawed at her breasts, rubbing the fur across the nipples and sucking at them alternately. When she had enough, she pulled his head up by his long rabbit ears and scooted upwards a little. For a moment they just stared at each other, both panting hard, then she wordlessly turned around and presented her back to him, shifting her hair away from the back of her neck so he could get at the zipper. This one was even tinier and tighter than the one in front, but he finally managed to grasp the minute handle with his teeth and slowly pull it down, inch by inch, down her spine to her waist and then her hips where her tail marked the end of the zipper. Still panting and snuffling he kissed his way up her back again and then helped her push the two halves of the costume away from her torso while she leaned back against him as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her to him. His costume had gotten almost unbearably hot - and wet - by then and for a fleeting moment he envied her for being able to get out of hers, if only partly, but then he forgot all about it when he started to stroke her breasts and sides from behind, pushing the Catwoman costume downwards over her hips and thighs. When it only hung from her knees and lower arms, he started pushing his paws over and against her mound and between her legs. It made her scream and buck against him.

"Ah … ah … harder! Harder … oh god …" Panting she got on all fours, rubbing her buttocks against his belly while he pushed the lower part of her costume even further down, then she put her hand behind her and started to search around the lower part of his costume, until he spared a paw to assist her with finding the zipper that had allowed him to pee without having to take off his whole costume first. She tore it open and then pushed her hand through the opening to grope around for his penis, tugging his boxers down and crowing in triumph when she got it to poke out of his costume. While he continued to rub and stroke her all over with his paws, she closed her hand around it and pushed it between her legs, rubbing the tip on her clitoris. After what seemed like an eternity to him she finally let go and braced herself against the headboard. He leaned forward and pushed in urgently, holding her by the hips and shoulders. As he started to thrust, slowly and drawn out at first, then gradually picking up speed, it suddenly occurred to him how bizarre the two of them had to look to anybody who would happen to catch them at it right now. Bizarre, very naughty of course and probably rather absurd. A bit like that series of t-shirts Joey had gotten somewhere which showed various cartoon characters doing it with each other. He thought Garfield doing Odie was particularly hilarious, while Calvin and Hobbes seemed almost disturbing. But this? The big pink bunny covering the Catwoman until only her head and arms were visible and his butt with the cute fluffy tail pumping up and down rhythmically while she was screaming and moaning and throwing her head back so hard the headband with the cat ears kept slipping? He had actually considered getting a few of their hotter sessions on video, but now he was glad that Ross' and Rachel's video tape disaster had put a damper on that. Ross' vivid account of how disgusting it had been to watch himself having sex had been very convincing. Even to Joey.

And while it still felt incredibly hot – literally too since he was almost drowning in sweat by now – any video of that would most probably be impossible to watch without cracking up. This had to be even kinkier than that time with the Santa costume when he had almost crushed Monica with his big belly. At least the bunny costume made for more mobility, though it was just as hot and suffocating as the Santa costume had been.

Just when he thought he couldn't go on any longer Monica finally climaxed, tightening and stiffening all around him while she gasped and hitched, her head thrown back and her hands clenching around the headboard. Chandler stopped thrusting and, still panting heavily, gently drew out of her and helped her to turn around. While she got out of the tight sleeves he drew off her boots and tugged at the legs of the costume until it came off entirely. But when he started to push her back and get on top, she scrambled up and pushed at him until he toppled over on his back himself, and then almost jumped over him, clawing at his fur and growling playfully, a mad shine in her eyes. He was still hard enough for her to take him inside again while he held her up with his paws under her buttocks. Then she settled on him and pressed her knees against his ribs, rocking and pumping against him while she held on to his ears and he kept stroking her back and shoulders with his furry paws. After the first furious humping was over they gradually slowed down until they had found a slow steady rhythm that suited them both and actually allowed him to catch his breath a little before the finale. Just as Monica's movements got more urgent again he dimly felt his own orgasm building up. Rallying the last of his strength he heaved himself up in a sitting position and wrapped his arms around Monica, pressing her close and stifling her scream with his kiss as he let go. For a long moment they remained like that, shuddering and trembling in the aftermath of their orgasms, then Monica slowly moved away from him as he released her and they lay down side by side on the bed. She turned to him immediately and pressed close again, grabbing the loose folds of his fur and curling into him, until he heaved himself up with a sigh and lay himself over her, completely covering her in pink fluffy bunny fur. Monica made a small content sound, almost like a purr and drew his head down for a long kiss. Then he felt her fingertips tracing the sweat on his forehead and cheeks.

"Ummm. Mmmh. Oh, that's soo good … Oh god, poor bunny. Are you very hot?"

"Boiling actually."

"Really? Oh god. Wait, let me … there, is that better?" She had found the zipper in the back of the bunny costume and drawn it down and he almost yelped as he felt the air cooling his skin. Monica put a hand on his sweaty back and almost recoiled.

"Oh my god, you're dripping wet!"

"Yeah. I told you, you'd have to hose me down. Mmmh. Not now though. Mmmmh. No, don't worry, it feels better already."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's okay. You can snuggle some more, I don't mind."

"Aw. You're so sweet." She wriggled a little under him to get more comfortable and then pulled on his rabbit ears again. "Did you really know all along?"

"What? That you love snuggling with big fluffy bunnies? Of course I did. Why else would you have gotten me that costume? You know I don't actually care that much for the Velveteen Rabbit."

She smiled wistfully. "Yeah, I know. But when I saw that costume I just couldn't resist. And you look so adorable in it. Sooo cuddly. Especially when you're mad."

"Well, you looked pretty hot too."

"Yeah? Really?"

"Are you kidding? Smoking hot. Actually – how long until you have to return that costume?"

She smiled widely. "I don't. When I got it they had to take it in so much for me that I decided to keep it. And because I really really like it."

"Oh my god …!

"Oh, can we keep the bunny costume too?"

"If it hasn't shrunk too much with all that sweat …"

She giggled and wrinkled her nose a little, but made no move to get up which suited him fine. They fell quiet again, just holding each other and listening to their breathing. When he kissed her on her cheek and under her ear, she was smiling blissfully with her eyes closed and her head slowly turned to the side, breathing more deeply. After some more kisses that didn't get any reaction from her, he finally realized that she had fallen fast asleep.

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 _A/N: It's well over a year ago that UofLCardFan08 asked for a story about Monica in her Halloween costume in her review of my Sockbunny story, but while I liked the idea, I somehow couldn't make it work and abandoned it again. But lately, when I got in the mood for writing some heavier smut again, I got hung up on that memorable episode once more and decided to give it another shot. There's something dead fascinating about the contrast between the two in this episode and just the mental image of the big fluffy Bunny doing the Catwoman proved quite irresistible to me. At first I tried to write it as another Sockbunny chapter with the Sockbunny as a sort of backup or buddy to Chandler in the bunny costume, but then I found that I couldn't really incorporate it into the story after all. It was simply superfluous, and so I left it out – after all, our favorite couple in those amazing costumes is quite hot enough on its own. More than enough actually – don't you agree?_


End file.
